Time flies

i cant believe its already March, its been ages.... time went by like a car speeding on a freeway, didn't realise how quick this year will be, didn't imagine I'd wake up one day and 4 months of a summer vacation would be over.

I have a mega post coming up, Loads in this mind, all the nuts and bolts are moving in all directions.

await more..

The circle of Life

The one thing that I am always very afraid of, is how my actions will come back to me, as in, I strongly believe in the circle of life, in how your actions always come back to you at some stage or the other, and I don't want any part of my behaviour to reflect badly for any part of my future. I try and live my life with as much truth and honesty as possible.

And that doesn't pay all the time, I've been screwed over a few times in my life, and very badly at that, a lotta times I've trusted people only to find out they were not even worth a conversation.

I've been awake most of the night, being a mrtyr, being some one stronge, and fierce... I am strong, its just that confronting that which makes one ache, never realised I'd be so plastic... I'd rather not have people sympathize with me about something which I know I could have controlled.

This is an old post, however i will add that no matter how good i am to the world, the coming around time .... takes the patience out of me.

People do me wrong. No Fair.

In the Life of a Thinker

Today I am reviving my blog, giving it a fresh breather of inspiration, sharing on it what I think is me, the elements of whom I have been searching for a long time now.

My life changed last year, I was waiting for 'f5' ... ie, i wanted to refresh my life, and that wasn't happening. So I decided to 'get a life' and move on, I moved away from home, I believe sometimes you need to give up things that make your life the most comfortable to achieve something that you don't really need.

I packed my bags, hope, dreams and all the things I want in my life and travelled across a BIG ocean, got to a different country and started a chapter in my life which I will probably never forget. Even if I try.

Here, the living is obviously uncontrolled by any Parental Guidence, the only thing that governs a mind is the values instilled in all Indians, the system that you choose to adopt since early childhood and the ideal that govern your own life. Amidst all this self proclaimed chaos, I suddenly feel old, because I never wanted to be responsible, I never wanted to be all grown up and I don't like the way I have turned out to be cos i've turned into a sort of mother india, a protector, which pretty much sucks, its what separates the cool and the uncool.

This has to change, first resolution for this year, no more mothering anyone. Save breath, save energy and save your intelligence.

I was talking to a friend of mine a few weeks ago and we were just going over all the things I am and trying to figure out why I don't have a steady guy in my life... turns out... I'm one of a dying breed, the intelligent women types who can't take bullshit from anyone is fiercely independent ... has to have her space and things her way...... and well... aparently all these qualities are not of the model most in demand. But really is it that bad to be smart? Does it always pay to behave in attention seeking manner and seem like an airhead??

The trouble now is, even if I do try and pretend to be an airhead, I can't take it..... I know I'm worth more than that... well screw you and your ideas, I'm proud to be smart... if that means I have to stay single, Iwill :D